The internet informed me today, in that meandering and random way that it does at times, after it ensnares you in its clickbait clutches, that the earth is around 25,000 miles in circumference at its equator.
I remember going online to pay my Council Tax bill to Sandwell MBC, but instead, going first to look at my bank balance, out of some strange morbid curiosity. You know, in that way that you sometimes feel compelled to look at something horrible you know you shouldn’t? Anyway, after the initial shock, let's just say that no accounts were settled today. I succumbed, instead, to a few instant karma videos on Youtube, robberies going wrong mainly. Robbers having the tables turned on them by plucky shopkeepers and have-a-go hero customers. Then I watched a couple of videos involving bullies being out-bullied, yeah, bully beatdowns baby, those are good, and finally, another video, filmed down in the tube, where someone tried to slide down that space in-between the up and down escalators.
It all started off well for the guy, all shits and giggles until he picked up speed and began to encounter a series of large pointed metal obstacles which ran along it. Well, the look of horror on his face as his testicles impacted with the large pointed metal obstacles, again and again, will live with me.
So, in an attempt to change the mood, I turned to Twitter, endlessly scrolling up my Twitter timeline, as for some reason I’m always taken to tweets that are several days old when I open the app on my phone. I liked some posts in the process and retweeted others I hadn't really read; sometimes the headline says it all. Then I sought out Instagram for about five minutes. OK, about fifteen, before heading back to Twitter again, where I randomly found my way onto that fact about the circumference, yes, via a clickbait link which may or may not have been about a killer asteroid approaching Earth.
1/5